I am learning to love with strength & patience. It is harder than we can imagine, and it makes sense why there are books upon books upon ancient poems and philosophical rants and songs and themes and stories about it - or attempting to understand, grasp, bottle it up in a jar and take home with. Because it is something we aren't born with being able to do. Not most of us, anyway. and it takes trial and error, and maybe trial and error again. There is a gathering of yourself that needs to be done every so often before going to or getting out of bed. A beckoning of courage - but most of all faith - in yourself; that you chose the path you were meant to. And knowing this road is long, and scorching with trials and tests, but in the end will relieve you with rain.

I am tucking away my demons, tight in box and unraveling his, inch by inch by the seams, so that he feels a little more whole. And there aren't many moments of validation - when your efforts are confirmed, or that your existence even matters. But Lord, when those severely simple moments show a glimpse - those thread-like, glistening under a very, very specific angle under the sun, moments - moments like, when you catch his gaze and his lips curl slightly into a tired smile; like he knows you know the day's been long, and it has, and there are more to come, but he also knows, he'll never be alone and there isn't another soul he'd rather withstand it with - they are all that matter. they really are.

reminiscing over late-night moonlit drives with my sister by soul. the dark around us cradled the secrets we shared between pillows and blankets as little girls. didn't the world look so much smaller then? feel so much lighter on our tongues? I love walking through frail paths with you. you never doubted my strength and never scrutinized my weaknesses. sometimes you by my side is all I need to feel I can take on the world.

I am all moonlight and shadows, dreams and open skies tonight. I am remembering childhood and who we were becoming, who we were meant to be. Tonight we will rest easy.

“you think with your heart”

like warm rays your words trailed the goose bumps on my skin

You have always said that of me.

You with your unnerving Soul and tender gazes

“..and you with your mind.”

You sat watching the ocean as a boy

And let it settle in the black of your eyes

With a heart so wide open,

It left insensitive hands to leave footprints upon it


You said thunderstorms reminded you of our love

All the force of lightening

all the softness of rain

you said you had stood still

for years

by that ocean,

this was the first time since then,

you shifted.

love letter.

today I want to make a promise. a promise to ease and heal the soul;
I promise to get to know Love in all forms. to trust her and let her stay. to pick away shrapnels of ego, pride and doubt.

to learn to Love, the way God intended it.

starting today.

short-lived.