"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

I am learning to love with strength & patience. It is harder than we can imagine, and it makes sense why there are books upon books upon ancient poems and philosophical rants and songs and themes and stories about it - or attempting to understand, grasp, bottle it up in a jar and take home with. Because it is something we aren't born with being able to do. Not most of us, anyway. and it takes trial and error, and maybe trial and error again. There is a gathering of yourself that needs to be done every so often before going to or getting out of bed. A beckoning of courage - but most of all faith - in yourself; that you chose the path you were meant to. And knowing this road is long, and scorching with trials and tests, but in the end will relieve you with rain.

I am tucking away my demons, tight in box and unraveling his, inch by inch by the seams, so that he feels a little more whole. And there aren't many moments of validation - when your efforts are confirmed, or that your existence even matters. But Lord, when those severely simple moments show a glimpse - those thread-like, glistening under a very, very specific angle under the sun, moments - moments like, when you catch his gaze and his lips curl slightly into a tired smile; like he knows you know the day's been long, and it has, and there are more to come, but he also knows, he'll never be alone and there isn't another soul he'd rather withstand it with - they are all that matter. they really are.